Our little Family

Our little Family

Monday, January 24, 2011

Grown up stuff is hard.

Most of my blogs are pretty light hearted and full of our little goings on around here. But there is a lot that has been bugging us lately and its just plain old hard. It all comes down to decisions. Decisions are tough. Especially the potentially life changing, permanent kind that don't go away or are really hard to take back.
When I accepted my job here in Phoenix, and Chris accepted his in Flagstaff, we thought 'hell yeah we can make this work.' It's been almost two years and we are sick to death of it. The driving has added thousands of miles and wear and tear to the cars. The gas price flucuations are always looming, and worst of all, the time apart is down right unbearable. Chris has been at work the past week and a half, when he gets back Saturday it'll be a two week stretch, and the longest we've been apart in a while. It's difficult to get the dogs fed and taken care of every day, let alone another human being! Can't put them in the kennel with a water dish. Or can I?
To make matters worse, we've been trying for the past year to get our proverbial 'ducks in a row' so that we can save more and start thinking about a family.
I think its been very good that we've waited so long to have/adopt kids. We have definetly not been ready, and still aren't. The little buggers are awfully expensive when you look at the details (a $5000 pregnancy deductible? WTF?). Not to mention the time off from work that I won't get paid for (no maternity leave here in conservative-ville Arizona).
However, all this time has given our relationship the time that it needed for healing, and I have certainly enjoyed a lot of time for myself. How many girls can say that? But lately I'm getting kind of tired of myself and think it'd be fun to have a little someone to hang out with.
This brings us back to the job issue. How in the world are we supposed to start a family with all this going on? How am I going to do it alone if Chris is at work for weeks and weeks again? Is it possible for us to work AND live in the same city? Without taking a huge financial hit? Because that would be super. And if we moved again- what do we do with our house? Ughhhhh

This pretty much sums it up.

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